Tips for Beginner Subs

Written by

Yersi and

Hypnos-san

1) Learn more about your preferred type of submission. Are you looking to be a brat? Maybe a service sub? BDSMtest.org could help you understand this if you have no experience. 

2) Communication is key. Determine your hard and soft limits, preferences and kinks and discuss them thoroughly with your dom(me). Don’t be afraid to establish those, otherwise you could have a scene that is not good for either one of you (and cause more serious disruptive situations, like sub or dom drops).

3) Submission doesn’t mean being 100% passive. You should keep in mind both sides of the relationship should be satisfied, and that sometimes means having initiative. Unresponsive subs are a common complaint among dom(me)s.

4) Avoid entitlement at all costs. This is an undesirable behavior that can be observed in any role. Don’t expect anyone to owe you anything. Respect the limits and expectations of your partner as much as you want them to respect yours.

5) Aftercare should go both ways. Also, keep in mind it’s a very personal thing, so it should always be tailored for the person you’re with.

6)Your dom(me) is not responsible for you. While sharing one’s issues is a natural part of any intimate relationship, be careful not to overburden your dom(me) with your problems without offering a proportional amount of support in return.

7) Always work on improving yourself in any way possible, so you have things to offer in the ongoing power exchange.

 

8) Remember that your submission is valuable and should only be given to a trustworthy and responsible person.